Being small isn’t what bothers me.
I was born on a small island, within a small Caribbean region. By no coincidence, my professional expertise is in small states and it’s an obsession for me. As we see our coastlines disappear while larger countries argue about the realness of climate change, I ponder. What will it take for us to be acknowledged?
Being little shouldn’t translate into being belittled.
Everyone is bigger than me…From country size to power dynamics to actual physical attributes.
But still, I’m sought out for the expert I am. I’m told that this is where my fortune continues to lay. I must suffer through a myriad of insufferable questions, a mountain of prejudice and a sea of soul crushing dehumanization. Just as we suffer geopolitical disability, my body and mind ache with chronic pains. But life carries on and bills have to be paid, right.
So I take a dip back into my profession of passion, only to run into the wall of discrimination, physical intimidation and orchestrated failure, repeatedly!!!
What a sad story of trite stupidity with morons at the helm, and mediocre pretenders at the gates. All requiring that I work to prop them up while being treated as less than.
The beneficiary government asks for flexibility…which you provide.
The client donor holds you to strictest terms…which you comply.
The Contractors demand more for nothing…which you do.
…all while declaring your humanity and objecting…
Then I get attacked. I get told to shut up and deliver, or else I won’t get paid.
So of course I don’t get paid.
It’s a systematic process reinforcing oppression.
It’s impossible to be productive in an unsafe ecosystem that I left.
You would think that would grant me peace of mind…but nooooo
And round and round it’s been going.
Even when I give up, it leads right back here.