Category: Messages to myself

Discovering the activation of my trauma dissociation

Hospitals have a specific smell...I would know, I've been to quite a few all over the world due to a genetic condition that can disable me without warning or explanation. Apparently, I was 5 years old when I had an altercation with a mirror that resulted in a trip to the Emergency Room, lots of … Continue reading Discovering the activation of my trauma dissociation →

Memories of an Intersectional mind (Part II)? 

Message from my 5 year old self continues... My weapon of choice now is the pen..and the knife...but in my childhood, it was actually the sword. My shorts were designed by my dad, and sewn by my mom to fit perfectly, tailored to my need for freedom. There was nothing better than climbing trees, playing … Continue reading Memories of an Intersectional mind (Part II)?  →

A moment in time, a shovel of dirt (II)

…today is still not that day. Needless to say. it's been a stretch to figure out the real trigger for the June trauma-versary of my WBG HQ last day at work. Detective Logs Status: Work finding Client: My traumatized brain Clues by Symptoms: 3 PTSD (diagnosed) trauma-versaries TRAUMA-VERSARIES #2 and #1: The October/November trauma-versary was … Continue reading A moment in time, a shovel of dirt (II) →

Adulting 101 Fail – paying credit card interest (for the first time)

(delayed publication bc well, I'm in pain) I've had a credit card since I was a teenager. My dad was big on financial literacy and was really good at money management...His mantra included such gems as "live below your means" and "never make the bank make more money off you". Very early on - maybe … Continue reading Adulting 101 Fail – paying credit card interest (for the first time) →

A moment in time, a shovel of dirt

There are two trauma boxes hiding in the back of my closet. Hidden beneath the need to function - I am now only just glimpsing blurry memories of the reasons they make me cry. I refuse to look in them...I'm not even sure what's in there bursting to reveal incoherent tales of submerged details. But … Continue reading A moment in time, a shovel of dirt →

Scary office furniture and supplies

I was once afraid of everyday office supplies, office desks, ergonomic office chairs, black laptops, and photocopying machines...with closed doors were torture tools. Seeing a filing cabinet was particularly painful. Wooden shelvings were essentially torment. Recycling bins for shredding confidential documents were haunting sirens. Stacks of printer paper made me hyperventilate. I would hesitate going … Continue reading Scary office furniture and supplies →

I have the freedom but not the luxury to…

Life...So many thoughts go through our heads as we ponder what our future may hold. So many of us are writing out loud, screaming our distress and labeling our terror. There's no place for indifference to hide anymore. If you're not enraged, then you're simply not paying attention. My truth - I aspire to write … Continue reading I have the freedom but not the luxury to… →